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Choosing to Wonder

Thick fog rolls in from the Irish Sea.

A tangible, visible manifestation of the fog encroaching around my heart. Threatening to snuff out the light and life; muffling the sounds without and within.

I look out from the precipice…the vast expanse at my feet. I see…

Nothing.

Stress. Fatigue. Frustration. Confusion. Heartache.

Its so easy to wonder why. Why is this happening? Why are they suffering so? Why is this so confusing when it seemed to clear? Bright and sunny, not a cloud in the sky only hours ago. Now the hand in front of my face is obscured by doubt; fog; confusion.

The magic of the Season seems lost in the billows of care; worry; strife; tired. It takes.so.much.energy.

The emotions run deep; yet just under the surface.

The twinkle catches my eye. Dim at first. Then brighter.

The tender flicker of a single flame of a candle.

In this moment I choose not to wonder, but to wonder.

I choose to stand in awe at the sheer magic of it all. At the crazy, seemingly unbelievable, wildly weirdness of the idea that Divinity should be clothed in flesh.

Not as some metaphor or platitude.

But real, actual human flesh. Boundaries, pain, pleasure and all.

I choose to wonder.

To let the hope of this time bubble up beyond the fog; to warm to the borders and overflow to fill to the brim of this heart.

Deep breath in. I choose not to let the doubt  – Fear. Anger. Dismay. – rule the day. And instead

I

Choose

To

Wonder.

It’s Friday, that means time to turn the thinking cap off and write wild and free for 5 minutes flat with LisaJo Baker. Today was/is the last Five Minute Friday for this year. Taking this month to reflect, refresh, and connect in real life. But today, we write and join virtual hands across the vast expanse that is this world and give our collective best on the prompt: WONDER.

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16 Responses to “Choosing to Wonder”

  1. Michelle says:

    I hope the wonder and grace of this season can drive all the fog from your life!
    http://normalchaosforamultitaskmom.blogspot.com/2012/11/wonder.html

  2. Mia says:

    Hi Jenny
    Oh, I think it is those silent tears in your heart that our Pappa God of wonder collects and saves in His Jenny’s tear jar. We might wonder, but He knows of all the pain and suffering. This reminds me so of Job for after all his wondering, He “saw” God and all his wonder turned to wordless wonder of delight

  3. April says:

    Thank you. Such a beautiful word picture of getting caught up in the fog of life. Yes, it is a choice to take the time to wonder. Thank you for sharing. (visiting from 5MinFri)

  4. nursenan72 says:

    Jennifer- balm for the soul! thank you. N

  5. Julie Anne says:

    oh, yes, I feel the fog surrounding me so often and threatening to choke me! Thanks for the reminder that I can CHOOSE to wonder, to see past the fog, to focus on the Light!!

    • Thank you, JulieAnne! I have so very much to be thankful for, and to celebrate. Yet, like you said, it’s so easy to let the stresses and worries of life suffocate it. I’m only learning just how much joy and wonder is a choice, not a reaction. Thank you for coming by!

  6. Stefanie says:

    Making the decision to “wonder” must be an intentional one. May we ALL choose to wonder and stand in awe.
    Great words…

  7. Colline says:

    Oh yes, it is all in our choices. Beautiful writing.

  8. mslorretty says:

    I am choosing to wonder alongside you this season….I didn’t participate in FMF this time around because too much was wrapped up inside me to give only 5 minutes to that word. Blessings Sister!

    Lorretta at Dancing on the Dash

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